Mother

When you look up the word mother in a dictionary, this is what you will find “1. A female parent. 2. A female who holds a position of authority or responsibility similar to that of a mother. Words associated with the term mother are “to give birth”, “to create”, “produce”, “watch over”, “nourish”. A mother, however, is much more than a few words in a dictionary.

When thinking about the word mother, several people come to mind. There is Mother Theresa in Calcutta, who spent her life, passionately caring for others, working hard and living spiritually rather than “worldly”. There is the ever so sweet Queen Mum who has died at a proud age of 101. There is the stepmother, the mother-in-law and the grandmother, all having several things in common. They are on this world to guide, teach and love.

A TV commercial says, the mother is the “finder of lost socks”, the one “who knows if fish can hear” and why it’s wise to pick your battles when it comes to the “what kind of cereal can I have” question. These are the things of the every day life of a mother. They are little things that nobody will really remember, unless mentioned in a commercial. Being a mother, means giving birth, feeding and caring for a baby. It means to be able to love unconditionally, no matter what happens. Lisa Temple, mother of Tommy Thibault, said, after finding out, that her son had killed 3 young people “And I think, that as a parent you always think you can save your kids. But there was absolutely nothing I could do.” She apologized to the victims’ families. Could there be a better example for unconditional love?

A mother spends her life devoted to her family. She will listen carefully to her children’s problems and needs. She will take them to school and even drop them off around the corner, because the children are embarrassed to be seen with her. She helps her teenage daughter to get over the first lost love and her son to deal with his sudden “manhood”. Smiling and without a word she will change his wet sheets in the morning.

A mother gives guidance, she teaches her kids right from wrong, plays chauffeur, “finds socks” and she will never get tired of showing her love.

My own mother is a somewhat untypical woman. She has always been very ambitious and determined. She made it very clear to me, that she expected me to be the same way. Ever since I can remember, she was taking some classes to educate herself. She was striving for more than “just” motherhood. To her it was only natural that I would make a great career and not waist my time at home. It was a difficult day, when I told her, that she was going to be a grandmother, although now she adores her little granddaughter.

Despite our differences in what we expect in life, I think my mother is the most wonderful mother in the world. She was the one who told me that I am a jewel, when it came to the sex question. She said “A jewel is a very rare thing. Many want it, but can’t have it. This is what you are. Make a very careful decision, about who can have you.” This sentence was always glued to my mind, and thanks to her, I have made the right choices.

My mother has raised me to be an independent adult, who doesn’t have to rely on others to get around in life. She always spoke her mind and told me, what she thought, I should do. But she also let me make my own decisions and my own mistakes. When I came home heartbroken one day she didn’t tell me that oh so familiar sentence “I told you so….” She just simply gave me a hug and waited until I was ready to talk. She offered her friendship to me; and even though she will always be my Mother who I respect, she is also my best friend. No matter what happens, I can always turn to her, and she will always be there.

This, to me, is a mother. I agree 100% with Rose Kennedy (JFK’s grandmother and according to him she was “the glue that held the family together”) who said “I looked on child-rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession, that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world, and one that demanded the best I could bring it.” I have learned so much from the Mothers around me. I know they come in all shapes and sizes, with different beliefs and priorities. I appreciate each of these mothers for who they are. They help me to be the best Mother I can be for my own children and for those who want my advice.

I have not taken the same path as my own Mother. After my degree in aesthetics and cosmetology I went on to have children. I am lucky enough to be able to stay at home with them, and I even decided to homeschool them. My Mother, as always, supports this decision as much as she has always supported everything that I have done. I am deeply grateful for that.

by Ute Mitchell